More than Enough

It was a week day morning and things started out the way they always do. I crawl out of bed, wonder to the coffee pot hoping not to stub my toes on the table as I walk there. Turn the coffee on and settle in my chair. I open my Bible take a deep breath of coffee and smile as I get to spend some sweet time with Jesus. Thirty minutes go by and I am at such peace just me and my Savior.  As soon as I get up from that chair things just go south. I begin the normal routine of waking up 3 children and getting everyone ready for school. I should just get a bull horn and shout let the chaos begin because somehow that's what happens. There are teeth to be brushed, that lets just face it I have to force my 7 year old son to do, hair to be brushed and put together and its not mine. In all this where is that sweet wonderful husband of mine? Well he is getting himself ready while my 4 year old is screaming she doesn't want the crust on her poptart today! How was I supposed to know that because just yesterday she yelled at me for taking it off! So here comes my man, oblivious to the chaos and ready and relaxed to start his day. He not one time notices the kids are running around like wild animals and the dog is peeing on the floor!
 My time with Jesus seems like something that happened 10 years ago and not just 30 minutes ago. Then like lightning a switch goes off inside me. Instead of acting like a  beautiful woman of God out comes  Malifacent! I  mean full blown fire breathing dragon. I yell and scream and pout and say things I really don't mean. I pull myself together and with fire still on my lips and black scales on my skin I kiss those sweet kids good bye and hug my husband and send them off to work and school.  The door closes behind them and I wait and then find myself sitting on the floor crying. Then the accusations come "Your crazy who acts like that to there family?" "You are worthless and will never be good enough for them." " You are such a disappointment, they will never love you like that." "Everything you do fails."
It was a familiar place for me. I have been on that floor telling myself those lies many times.  Satan has been hissing those lies in my ears for years. I believed them too. Believed every single one and believed I truly deserved to be on that floor crying. Something happened one day that changed everything. As I sat believing the lies I heard a loud sweet voice. "STOP, Melissa it doesn't have to be this way, STOP." It wasn't hateful or demeaning it was sweet and tender. I sat bewildered, I knew that voice. I have heard it before but never when I was on the floor completely hating myself. I heard it again in my ear a small whisper "No more, this is enough." I knew it was Jesus there coming to my rescue.  The one and only healer of my heart coming to my side. "No more, you have lived like this for far to log. Get up read my word, its true, its promises are true. Deal with this head on with me and your sword (Bible). I love you and this is not my plan for you."
So I pulled myself up, got back in that chair and opened my Bible. I was tired, tired of being in that place. So I opened my Bible and turned to the concordance and found tired it lead me to Isaiah 40:30 but I decided to start in verse 28.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youth grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

I sat there and cried. It was that good cry, a cry of relief. The Lord my God is everlasting. He will give us strength and even though we may fall apart we can soar on wings  like eagles. You see I figured out that day it would be a tough journey but God's plan for my life, your life, is to not just survive but to soar! To fly. Fly above the way you see yourself and to begin to see yourself as the beautiful treasure you are to Jesus. Fly to a place where the love of God and the love he has for you erases every doubt, and fear. A place where disappointment doesn't rule you and lies no longer command you. He alone will give you the strength in each and every circumstance that  may come. You may grow tired but have you not heard? He NEVER grows tired. He is always fighting for you.
So let's get up off that floor and run to the one who has his arms wide open waiting for you. He wants you to Fly.